I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
