yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
