We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
