I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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