I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize