I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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