i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
