on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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