new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
