is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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