let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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