he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
