Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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