OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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