Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
