He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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