I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
