i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
