flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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