Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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