i already hear my dad disowning me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm passing your future prison.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
