I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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