I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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