The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
