Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
