Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
