BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
