we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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