Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
