this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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