So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
