Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
