I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
