Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
as a side note pls kill me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
