Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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