hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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