If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
