I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
