I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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