There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
