Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
