if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
tell me about the eggs
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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