no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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