I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
