I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize