Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

I wanna bring you to show and tell

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(519): View more from Ontario

oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again

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(540): View more from Virginia

she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm

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(858): View more from California

Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

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(302): View more from Delaware

Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.

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(407): View more from Florida

Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.

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(+81): View more from

Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.

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(813): View more from Florida

Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.

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