My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How's work?
Spinning.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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