you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
