i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
