What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize