so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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