Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am naked and annoyed.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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