his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
