i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
