The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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