Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
