Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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