don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i think i just lost a toe
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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